Nolie's Story: How the Nurse Saved Thanksgiving

Noele's Story
November 26, 2009 (Thanksgiving!)
Submitted by Autumn
Originally published November 30, 2008 at Playing House Full Time

I feel like I should write this all out while it is still relatively fresh in my memory, but forgive me for mistakes with time and all that- I don’t really feel like I had a handle on time at all.

 On Tuesday I had a midwife appointment, when they did my internal exam she found that I was two cm and very thin – she then swept my membranes and let me know that this can cause contractions but that typically they aren’t anything real, just your bodies reaction to the exam. So, immediately following my exam the contractions started and continued through the afternoon and evening. They were not timeable or painful at all so I figured they weren’t really anything. Charlie on the other hand was convinced I was in labor and about to pop out a kid every five minutes or so.

Then on Wednesday afternoon my parents came up to help get everything prepared for Thanksgiving dinner (that we were hosting the next day…hah). Starting around 8 pm my contractions were starting to get pretty regular, about 5-7 min apart and lasting for around a minute, but not painful or anything that I had to stop and breath through. Around 10:30ish they started to get more intense and were every three minutes apart. At that point I breathed through them a little bit in bed until they got too intense (around 12:30). I sat out in our living room from 12:30 till 1:30 while they picked up in intensity a bit. Then I went back to bed so that Charlie could help me breath through them. And let me just say, he is my hero. Breathing through each contraction with me and being so encouraging and believing in what my body could and would do, even when I was losing faith.

OK, at about 2:30 they got much, much stronger and I decided to call the midwives and see what I should do next. I called and they told me to take a shower and call as soon as the contractions were 5 min apart, lasting a minute and for an hour duration. So I went to the shower to try and relax and get labor to slow down, so I could sleep but had no luck. The contractions slowed when I was in the shower but were just as intense as soon as I got out. Then things started to change quickly. My contractions were consistently 3 min. apart and lasting a minute, and at about the 45 minute mark I started to shake and throw up. So we called back the midwife and told her what was going on and she told us to meet her at the birth center in 50 min. (6am).

I was still thinking that this was probably nothing big (Deny deny deny) and that they would send me home to labor longer, Charlie was convinced and started packing the bags (that were yet to be packed) and getting everything all ready and loaded. We arrived at the birth center and they did my exam and, as I thought, I was still at two centimeters. However, as they were examining me (btw: nothing makes a contraction worse than getting an internal DURING it….nothing tops that) the midwife said “I don’t think that is a head…” and went to go and wake up another midwife to come and feel and see what she thought was presenting. The other midwife (who lives in the basement of the birth center) came up and felt the baby, both were sure it wasn’t the right part of the head but they couldn’t tell what part of her face they were feeling. After about half an hour of internal exams I had gone from two cm to three.

Then I had a few contractions without internals and then the second midwife went in to check once more to see if she could tell if she was feeling a chin or a nose or brow and during this exam my water broke, soon after that there was an audible crack and kind of snapping feeling in me and I went from three cm to five in one contraction. At that point both of the midwives left and Charlie and I labored through a few more very painful contractions. When they came back in they delivered the news, “we need to transfer to the hospital”. These were the words I was horrified of hearing, she might as well have said “time for your c-section” and truthfully, that is what she was thinking (she told me later). The baby was presenting face first and that is not legal for them to deliver and is a 90% chance of cesarean, not to mention more painful (back labor) and very, very rare.

 We were kind of in shock at this point, there was nothing to do but go. But still, I felt defeated at that moment. So we got me dressed (a feat with contractions one minute apart) and into the car (easily the WORST place to be with contractions). Once we got the hospital we got checked in (another post in and of itself, because the people at front desk of labor and delivery are stupid and ignore hard labor because they are used to it and ask you dumb questions like “what is your religious preference” in the midst of some LOUD and painful contractions..ahem) and waited to find out what doctor was on call (another one of my big fears was the baby being delivered by someone I have never met). We found out it was Dr. Cook and our midwife was super relived, saying that he was one of the only doctors at the hospital who would let me labor at all and not just send me directly into a c-section.

We met Dr.Cook (old as dirt, wears a bow tie and drives a smart car…) and he told me I couldn’t have as much time to labor as women typically get and that I needed to progress quickly, because of her position- he told me that if she didn’t turn he would have to send me in for a c-section and that would be sooner rather than later. This was the theme of my interactions with him each time. Every visit went with the threat of ‘progress faster or we will have to send you in’. Also, this was the first face presentation he had seen in 10 years. After he tried to turn our baby (pull her chin down) basically every nurse and other doctor wanted to come in and feel her to see what a face first presentation felt like. I was totally pro anyone and everyone trying to turn her, thinking that was my only shot at a vaginal birth.

So, as time went on the contractions got more and more painful and closer and closer together, until they were on top of each other. Around one in the afternoon the nurse let us know that if I hadn’t progressed allot by the time the next check came that she though the doctor would probably section me fast. Side note: our nurse was awesome. She was on our side the whole time, telling me how I could totally do this and that the baby would def turn for us. She also was great at down playing any negatives to the doctor and waiting to call him until it was the last possible moment so that I could get the most time to labor possible.

Anyway, around one I was starting to hit a wall was convinced that my body would never relax enough to open up. I had power over relaxing my neck and arms and upper back but I could feel that during each contraction I was tightening my hips and my back and thighs really hard. This feeling started as soon as I got to the hospital, I am fairly sure it was all in my head but regardless I was getting too stressed from all the c-section talk and I was letting it affect my ability to progress and cope. I talked with my midwife to tell her that I was hitting a wall and she told me to let the doctor check me to see how much I had progressed since he had checked me last (she thought it would be quite a bit because of how close together and strong my contractions were) and then to think about an epidural because it might buy me some more time and if done right it could make my muscles relax without me having to try. So we went with that plan.

The doctor came back and gave me another internal (maybe, my 100th by then- no joke). He found that I hadn’t gotten any further (still 5cm). At this point the choice was epidural for time and hope that it would be done well and work or a c-section in the very, very near future. The anesthesiologist was called and she went through her whole talk and it felt like it took an hour (at this point we had decided on the epidural so I just wanted to get it done, I was mainly horrified by the procedure). Charlie told me it only took about 2 minutes, but it was an eternity. Then she did the epidural and it was perfect. She was very fast and was able to give me a lower dose than typical. I was numbed to the pain in my back but could still feel every contraction and could walk and use my legs. It was just exactly what I needed, and 45min later I was at 7cm, about an hour after that I was at an 8. The nurse checked me to find out how dilated I was and then waited another half an hour or longer to let the doctor know, she was incredible.

Now, after the epidural I got a pretty high fever (102) and started to shake (more than I had been before)- this is usually a sign of an infection but the nurse down played it because we were pretty convinced it was just a side effect of the epidural. After being at 8 for a little while I started to feel allot of pressure in my butt (over share?) and I knew this was the beginnings of wanting to push- believe me when you want to push you will know. I waited a few contractions of this and then told the nurse. She examined me and said I was at a 10 and the baby was right there. At this point she let Charlie feel the baby, so cool. She told me “don’t push, we have to wait for the Dr. to say that he will deliver the baby even though she hasn’t turned. But, if you ignore what I am saying and let your body push, the baby will come out.” Then she left.

At this I looked over at Charlie and said “so, we push then right?” So for the next hour or more I didn’t actively push but I let my body push and didn’t hold back. Then the nurse came back and taught me how to push (a practice push). Then she told the Doctor that “the baby is coming!” and got everything set up and me all rigged (stirrups and all). Once the doctor came in he had me push once and I guess I did well because all of a sudden everything changed in the room and he said “whoa whoa stop stop or the baby will come out!” so I waited and then with his coaching and some serious finessing of Nolies face (popping out her chin after her lips and so on…) came out! It took just 20min of pushing and our little one was here. All 6lbs 11oz of her. And we were instantly in love with out little pirate looking baby.

Ellyana's Story: A homebirth creates a family

Ellyana Rose's Story
June 5, 2012
Submitted by Tessa

Friday evening, the day after my due date, I started having stronger braxton hicks contractions. I could tell that labour was getting close. I spent all day Saturday and Sunday relaxing and singing, gearing up. Sunday at midnight real contractions started and boy were they intense! I was no longer able to sleep so I let Bryan keep sleeping for a while and spent some time in the living room singing along to one of my many birth playlists. Around 2:30am I asked Bryan to fill the birth tub and to call my mom. Labouring in the tub felt wonderful. Bryan leaned over the edge to rub my back as we sang through the contractions "Elly Rose, I'm home again Rose, to get the sun back in the sky." My mom arrived and helped encourage me to walk around to help move the baby down. Bryan called the midwife and let her know my contractions were around 5 minutes apart. She said to let her know when they reached 3 minutes apart. My contractions started coming in sets, about two minutes apart with a 6 minute break in-between, and lasting around a minute. That continued throughout the night, with my mom rubbing my back and Bryan holding me and helping me breathe deeply. My body so badly wanted to take quick shallow breaths so I really relied on Bryans calm slow breathing to get me through it.

The midwife stopped by in the morning to check me. I was 1.5 cm dilated. Not the news we were hoping for but we kept on trucking! The midwife left to work her day at the birth center while we continued just coping one contraction at a time. I kept walking around the house, bouncing on the birth ball, singing and trying to stay empowered. The contractions were far more intense than I ever imagined and it was all I could do to stay positive. Bryan read aloud all the affirmation cards I had written, "Ride the wave" "All you have to do is breathe and relax. Nothing else" "Just as your body knew how to grow your baby, it knows how to birth your baby." I also turned to my mommy groups on facebook and asked for some words of support, reading so many kind words helped immensely.

At 11pm the midwife returned, she checked me and asked me if I wanted to know how far along I was. I said no, just tell me if I have progressed. Yes, she said I had progressed but was moving along very slowly. I later found out I was only 3cm at that time, some of which she stretched out herself. We made the decision to break my bag of waters at this point, in hopes it would bring the baby down further. My contractions were getting more and more intense and I was getting tired. I had been unable to eat anything almost my whole labour and was vomiting anything I did try to eat (even the delicious watermelon Bryan has cut up for me!) Baby was not dropping down enough to really press on my cervix so I could open up. We started trying things to move the baby into the best position. I got on my hands and knees and Bryan and my mom took turns wrapping a scarf under my belly and shaking it back and forth as vigorously as they could. It was a very tiring act and quite painful for me, but we all powered on, determined to get the baby to move. Luckily the babies heartbeat and my blood pressure were both doing great during the whole labour process.

Bryan and my mom were now taking turns napping while the other pressed on my back and held me during the contractions. We spent a bit more time in the birth tub but didn't want to slow things down at all so I didn't stay there for long. One thing that really sticks out in my mind is locking eyes with Bryan during the peak of the contraction. I could lose myself staring so deeply into his eyes and was able to take deep slow breaths.

At 3:30am the midwife checked me again and once again had to stretch me herself. I was now at 6cm dilated and suddenly I got the urge to push. I should say, suddenly my body started pushing because I was not in control over it. With all my might I blew raspberries and growled and moaned to try to stop myself from pushing. I was so afraid my body would push too much and my cervix would swell, leaving a c-section as my only birth option. When the midwife suggested we go to the hospital my heart sunk. Pitocin to make contractions stronger to get this baby down and an epidural to help me with the pain. I was still fearing a swollen cervix so I agreed to transfer. Bryan on the other hand wanted to give it more time, and started making very strong objections to going to the hospital.

My mom was hurriedly filling a bag with baby clothes and diapers and draping me in a robe. The midwife took one last check of my cervix before we left for the hospital. "It's a miracle!" she exclaimed! "You're fully dilated! You can push!" The relief we all felt was the most overwhelming emotion of the whole labour. "Thank you god!" I was exclaiming, even though I am not a religious person. From that moment on I felt no more pain. All I felt was relief!

Bryan hugged me and helped me onto the birthing stool that the midwife had brought. It felt SO wonderful to finally push with my body and know that we were so close to meeting our baby. I pushed with all my might, grunting and getting out every single emotion I had been feeling. Bryan supported my back while my mom took control of the video camera. I was crowning! "ohhh ring of fire!" I remember saying and the head started to emerge. Bryan ran and got the hand mirror so I could see. So much hair! I pushed again and the midwife asked me to slow down as she put oil on my perineum. I so badly didn't want to tear but at that point I no longer cared, I just wanted to PUSH! I pushed again as hard as I could and felt the head come out - and the body! The baby was here! I lifted the baby under the arms and up onto my belly. Bryan, still supporting behind me, leaned around and announced "IT'S A GIRL!" ("I know" I secretly thought. I had known she was a girl for months, our sweet Ellyana)

We held her on my belly until the placenta was birthed because she had a very short cord. When all the blood had finished pulsing my mom had the honour of cutting her loose.

My huge baby belly was now a 6lb 2 1/2oz baby girl, 19 inches long. Born at 4:20am on June 5th beside our bed into a room FULL of love.

We did it. A home birth, drug free, peaceful and loving.

I am so thankful for the incredible support team I had, and truly could not have done it without either of them. My moms wise words and touch helped my body and Bryans warmth, deep looks and soft lips helped my spirit. I feel so proud of the work all of us did and am so thankful I got through it all and am now holding our precious baby.

After getting cleaned up we discovered that I did NOT tear which was the icing on the cake! I lost a lot of blood so I felt very weak but at the same time I felt the best I had in months.

In the week the followed Bryan proved himself to be a truly great man. I stayed in bed and just nursed our sweet baby, he took care of the laundry, the dogs, every single meal and keeping the house clean. I was able to give my body the rest it needed. By 10 days post partum I felt healthy, healed and happy, and by three weeks my body felt 100%!

The love I feel for Elly is incomparable with anything else, besides my love for Bryan, which has gotten even stronger.

I so deeply love our beautiful little family.

Mona's Story: A hospital transfer gone right

Mona's Story
July 18, 2007
Submitted by Jillian


My water broke the first night. It was unmistakeable; I had been sitting on the couch and when I stood up, the collected fluid spilled out of me, soaking through my underwear and dripping down my leg. This was not pee. It was a week and a half before my due date, my baby hadn't even dropped into my pelvis, and we were not prepared. As a first-time mom and the daughter of a woman who had always had long pregnancies, I had expected to go another 3 weeks or so. We had the basics, though, and it was clear that the basics would have to be enough.

That night and the following day, I tried to prepare myself. Despite all the tricks, pre-labor refused to advance to active labor. I ate and drank, walked and rested, and waited. That evening we met the midwife at her office. We were closing in on 24 hours with ruptured membranes, and one way or another, labor would have to start soon.

The three of us (the midwife, my husband, and I) decided to try a catheter trick. Foley catheters are usually used to empty bladders, but my midwife would insert one with the tip just inside my cervix, and inflate it with a little bubble of saline to put pressure on my cervix and stimulate labor. It was an easy procedure, and we went home afterwards to wait -- and returned to the birth center within 2 hours, in active labor. What we didn't know at the time was that my daughter was in the occiput posterior (OP) position, with her back along my back, instead of the easier anterior position with the baby facing backwards. My cervix was straining against the top of her head instead of the pointier crown, and despite a night and a day of good active labor, I could not dilate the way I needed to.

My husband would later describe this as the worst day of his life. I couldn't eat or drink (although I would sip juice and later throw it up). I was having double and triple contractions without breaks in between, hard back labor. I would spend hours standing and leaning against a wall, with someone behind me to rub my back during contractions, and it felt like minutes. My midwife did painful cervical massage a few times to encourage dilation, but eventually that was only causing swelling and irritation. I was getting IV antibiotics every few hours, but still, as we neared 48 hours with ruptured membranes, I knew that the baby was going to have to come out. What we were doing was not going to meet that deadline. If I was going to transfer to the hospital, I would need to do it while I still had time to have a vaginal birth.

My body had given me a break of a few minutes without contractions to have this discussion with my husband and midwife. In fact, it was the first and only break I got. Once the decision was made to transfer, labor started again, and I contracted while dressing, in the car, in the waiting room at the hospital, while changing into a gown, trying to talk to the nurse, getting into the bed. I was sure the whole hospital heard my labor roars. (I credit my classical voice training for giving me the skills to roar like that for 24 hours straight without losing my voice!) I gratefully accepted a shot of Fentanyl while I settled and, a bit later, an epidural and a small Pitocin drip. I knew that these interventions could raise the risk of a surgical birth, but I also knew that I had very little time to start making progress before the hospital would insist I have surgery, and I needed to do whatever I could to make that progress.

I was lucky to get a nurse who was an advocate of midwives and vaginal birth. She pushed and pressured and bent the rules for me to have a chance to labor, and it worked. I started dilating immediately, and within 2 hours of my transfer, I was ready to push. Forty-eight hours after my water had broken, Mona emerged, utterly perfect. Her heart rate had been rock-solid through the whole labor, and her lips were cranberry pink when I first saw her.

I had wanted to avoid giving birth in the hospital, but I was lucky to have such a good hospital to give birth in. The hospitalist that delivered Mona allowed me to lie partly on my left side while I labored, and he even let my midwife (who had stayed with us in an unofficial capacity) show him how to delay clamping the umbilical cord until it had stopped pulsing. The nurses encouraged me to bedshare and breastfeed, and Mona was barely out of our arms for the 24 hours that we stayed. I had an easy physical recovery, too, with no tearing or rawness. I do sometimes wonder if the chronic headaches I've suffered since my daughter was born might be related to the epidural, but that's unlikely, and in any case the epidural couldn't be avoided. All in all, I'm happy with my birth story. It's a good memory, and there's nothing I regret about it.

Samuel's Story: A peaceful hospital birth

Samuel's Story
May 2, 2006
Submitted by Rachael

I was 25 when I had my first son. We had trouble getting pregnant, but after 2 years, our 4th attempt at IUI worked, and we were finally pregnant. We took the standard class that the hospital offered, a few sessions that didn't tell me much that I didn't already know. I was so excited at becoming a mother, but I was really scared of labor. All I heard were stories about how much it hurt and how afterwards it was "like hamburger down there." Not exactly inspiring or encouraging. My birth plan was basically to try and do it without medication, but I fully acknowledged that I had no idea what my pain threshold is since I've never really had any painful experiences. The most physical pain I'd ever felt before that was probably getting my tattoos.

My due date was May 2, and the day before I was feeling really nervous. I was ready to meet my son, but one thing I did know was that I did not want to be induced. I really wanted labor to come on naturally. I was feeling unsettled about my doctor appointment the next day because I knew the subject would come up. That night, my husband gave me the choice of going for a walk outside around our apartment complex or of sex to try and get things going. I chose the latter because the idea of a walk was just too much! We're both night owls and ended up going to sleep around 1 am.

At 3:30 am I woke up and as soon as I was awake, I realized that I'd been awakened by my water breaking. I sat up in bed and made my husband go and get me a towel. I went into the bathroom and the fluid was clear, and after that I was leaking fluid slowly, and gushing a bit during contractions. At first, I didn't even realize that what I was feeling were contractions. It took three or four crampy feelings exactly 20 minutes apart for me to realize what was happening. I did not have any contractions or Braxton Hicks at all before I actually went into labor.

I was so excited, and even though I was tired, I liked the dark and quiet of the morning. I called the hospital and they told me that I should come in since my water had broken but that I could shower and have something to eat first, no rush. I was too excited to shower, but we took our time getting ready. The drive to the hospital was nice, no cars on the street and everything was very quiet and still in the early morning. We walked into labor and delivery around 5 am. I had filled out the paperwork ahead of time, so we got right into a room. At that point, my contractions were about 6 minutes apart.

The nurses told me that depending on my progress they would probably want to start pitocin around 9:30 (6 hours into my labor). I put on a gown and robe and walked the halls, leaning on the railings when I had contractions. My Mom and sister arrived around 6. As the contractions got stronger and harder, I started to re-think my ideas about having a natural labor. Around 7:30, my doctor came in and did my first check and found that I was 6 cm dilated. It was really convenient that my doctor's practice was located in the hospital, so it was very easy for him to come down and check on me. After that, my contractions continued getting longer and more difficult, but spaced out more. I know now that is something that happens to some people, and doesn't necessarily mean progress is slowing, but I did not know that at the time.

Around 10 am, my doctor told me that we could either keep waiting or we could use pitocin and move things along. This is where my journey completely diverges from my current opinions. I know now that the pitocin was not necessary, but I wasn't informed or empowered to make that choice at the time. I did know that pitocin can make contractions come on fast and hard, so I told them I wanted an epidural before they started the pitocin drip. I got my epidural and they started the drip sometime between 10:30 and 11:30. Around noon, my friend/photographer arrived as well as my stepdad. At 12:20 they checked me again and I was still only 6-7 cm dilated. At that point, the nurses suggested that we kick everyone out and try to rest. The hospital I was at was very quiet and calm, and I had the overhead lights off with natural light streaming through floor to ceiling windows. I listened to Sarah McLachlan and went to sleep.

At 1:15 I was awakened by an oxygen mask being placed over my mouth and nose. In retrospect I have no idea why that was necessary. They told me that the baby's heart rate was sporadic, and upon doing an internal exam they said that the reason was because it was time to push - I was 10 cm and ready to go! We called my family back to the room and around 1:30 I started pushing.

Because of the epidural, I was on my back on the bed. There were no stirrups, so I was holding my legs as I pushed. The lights were still out, and I did very little talking. My husband made jokes about it being a 'silent birth' ala Scientology since Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes were all over the news at that time.  I was not in pain, but did feel an urge to push and a lot of pressure. My family was there to encourage me, but I didn't need them to talk to me, just be in the room with me to help bring our baby into the world.

After 1 hour and 40 minutes of pushing, Samuel Denn was born. He weighted 7 lbs 6 oz, was 20 inches long, and had the fullest head of white blonde hair I'd ever seen. They placed him immediately on my chest and let him stay while I birthed the placenta.

We stayed in the hospital overnight, and were unsuccessful with breastfeeding. I found out later that I had a litany of medical issues including insulin resistance, PCOS, high testosterone and hypothyroidism that affected my ability to get pregnant and to produce milk. I tried many things, but never got more than a few drops out of either breast. My doctor had never checked my breasts while I was pregnant, or told me that the size and placement or the fact that there was not an increase in size might not be good signs. I never had any idea that some women could not breastfeed, or had low production, or any of that.

We went home the next day, and I was shocked at how easy my recovery was. My muscles were sore and tired, but I felt fairly good. None of the vagina horror stories I'd heard held true in any way, and things went back to normal fairly quickly. Even though I have different ideas now about birth in general, I am happy that I had such a good hospital experience with my first birth!