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Born in Bellingam

Ever's Story: A beautiful home water birth

Ever's Story
April 27, 2012
Submitted by Autumn 
Originally published on at Playing House Full Time

On Thursday April 26th we did it all… pineapple eating, stair climbing, sex, super long walk, spicy thai food, evening primrose oil and raspberry leaf tea. I was 40 weeks 3 days and feeling beyond finished. We put Nolie to bed and around 9pm I started having a few easy peasy contractions. They didn’t feel painful, at all, but were consistent. They stuck around at around 6-9 minutes apart but didn’t feel like much of anything. They were stronger than braxton hicks but not painful.

I tried to go to sleep but was too excited. Charlie slept and I watched TV just passing the time, keeping one eye on the clock.

At about 4am they started to get stronger. I felt that even though these were very manageable that they were the real deal. I woke Charlie up to tell him…

He was excited too. I told Charlie to go back to sleep and I started to get ready.

I started praying and praising God. I couldn’t believe that we were at this point. That I was close to that Moment. We were going to do this. I started praying about her position. Worrying about her position. Fearing what might happen. I didn’t want to call the midwives. I was terrified that they would come, check me and send me to the hospital. I was anxious about ending up having the rug pulled out from under me all over again.

I did what I always do when I am overwhelmed, worried or anxious- I got into the shower. It was about 7am. While I was in the shower Charlie called the midwife. She decided to head over and check me and then get all of the supplies set up and then head to the Birth Center for her days appointments and come and check in on me in between.

Nolie woke up. My contractions stayed very manageable and about 5 minutes apart, lasting about a minute. They still didn’t hurt, they felt like a very tight and long braxton hick. When Nolie awoke Charlie went into her room ” Nolie, this is it! This is the day Mama is going to push the baby out!” …she was so excited. She and Charlie sat on the bed and cuddled while I stood and swayed through contractions. Nolie was darling through it all “Mama you are working hard. Your body does it.” Those sweet words spoken so truthfully from two year old lips were the perfect ‘birth coaching’. My body kept going and it felt easy. This was so different than last time.

At about 8am the midwife showed up and while she was checking me my parents showed up too. It was a whirlwind. Our tiny home was bursting now. E, our midwife, checked me and found that I was 4cm, 75% effaced and that the baby was in the perfect position (!!!!). The joy, relief and excitement was palpable. I said hi to my parents and stayed in my bedroom, starting to want to be alone. Everything got stronger. My baby was in the right position, my Nolie was cared for by people I wholly trust and my body was trudging ahead slowly. I was only 1cm more dilated than I had been the week before but I felt like this was the real deal.

E noticed that I was sounding a lot different than I had only moments before. She let me know that she didn’t feel comfortable leaving me unless she checked me again. It had only been about 30 minutes since the last check so I didn’t really expect much change. She found that I was now 5(stretchy to 6)cm and fully effaced with the baby low. She decided to stay since that change all happened so fast. We were now officially in “active labor” (5-10cm).

I was done having our house so full. I felt strong and ready but was starting to have to really pray and focus through each contraction as it happened. My parents left to take Nolie to Seattle to await our call (thinking it would be hours and hours away, if not overnight).

As soon as they were out the door I started to feel very different. I stood pushing down on Charlie and looking at him in hopes of finding some relief in his calm- instead I threw up. That lasted two contractions (they were close together but very short). The force of throwing up caused my water to break. I headed into the tub.

Charlie was cooling it off with cold water- it was still hot from filling it moments before. This was the opposite problem than what we thought was going to happen. I was so worried it would be too cold by the time I could get into it. Instead he was putting cold water into it as I was gingerly stepping in.

I felt calm for an instant and then it immediately got intense and so hard again. Our Doula showed up just after I got into the tub and started rubbing my face with a cold cloth. I said ” Nothing is comfortable” and then “she is low, she feels very, very low!” the baby was moving down and I could feel it.

I didn’t feel any of pushing with Nolie. I was aware of when I was having a contraction but I didn’t feel her move through my pelvis or crown. I just pushed hard for the 10 seconds that they counted for me and that was that. This time was far, far different.

I felt like my body was opening up and pushing her down and out. I had no control over it. ” I think I am kind of … pushing?” was all I could manage to say and my midwife just said “that is fine, just go with it” and I did. I moaned, yelled, sang a deep and loud song. And without giving a single decided push our sweet girl came right out.

“Charlie, her head it out!” Our midwife said this and it was a shock to me. I didn’t realize she was already out! With the next contraction the rest of her came out and we met her.

I was so shocked. So in love.

I just kept saying. “She’s here. So fast, this was so fast.” She was born at 10:06am only half an hour after my parents left. I progressed from 5-10cm in an hour and a half and my body pushed for less than 8min. The whole birth was a dream come true. A huge answer to my biggest prayers and felt like an endless miracle.

I called my Mom from the birth tub and they hadn’t left town yet. I was so thankful- Nolie got to meet her sister before she was even 30min old. And both girls wanted to nurse immediately… it was just right.

We ended the morning by sharing a meal with everyone who was there. My parents, Nolie, our doula, our three midwives and our photographer (who didn’t get there till just after the birth because everything moved so fast!). My favorite meal. My Mom’s veggie lasagna and a big glass of our favorite champagne.

I can’t even begin to say how incredible and different Home Birth is. I feel like it contributed so wholly to why our birth experience was so calm and easy. I felt at ease to labor and as soon as Nolie was cared for and I didn’t have a worry about her I was able to just have the baby… no fuss. I was checked twice total and pretty much never left the comfort of my own bedroom.

This birth was the redeeming and encouraging experience I have dreamt of prayed for and prepared for. I cannot encourage other expectant Moms enough to research, read, pray, talk to everyone you can and make every effort you can to have the birth you want. You can be your own advocate and go into birth informed and ready to make decisions.

If you have any questions about why we chose home birth, our experience or anything else… please ask! I am an open book and would love to share more. Here is a link to our birth video made by our awesome photographer, Merrilee there is no nudity or blood (a placenta picture though!) but the photos of my pushing and laboring are very intense.

Nolie's Story: How the Nurse Saved Thanksgiving

Noele's Story
November 26, 2009 (Thanksgiving!)
Submitted by Autumn
Originally published November 30, 2008 at Playing House Full Time

I feel like I should write this all out while it is still relatively fresh in my memory, but forgive me for mistakes with time and all that- I don’t really feel like I had a handle on time at all.

 On Tuesday I had a midwife appointment, when they did my internal exam she found that I was two cm and very thin – she then swept my membranes and let me know that this can cause contractions but that typically they aren’t anything real, just your bodies reaction to the exam. So, immediately following my exam the contractions started and continued through the afternoon and evening. They were not timeable or painful at all so I figured they weren’t really anything. Charlie on the other hand was convinced I was in labor and about to pop out a kid every five minutes or so.

Then on Wednesday afternoon my parents came up to help get everything prepared for Thanksgiving dinner (that we were hosting the next day…hah). Starting around 8 pm my contractions were starting to get pretty regular, about 5-7 min apart and lasting for around a minute, but not painful or anything that I had to stop and breath through. Around 10:30ish they started to get more intense and were every three minutes apart. At that point I breathed through them a little bit in bed until they got too intense (around 12:30). I sat out in our living room from 12:30 till 1:30 while they picked up in intensity a bit. Then I went back to bed so that Charlie could help me breath through them. And let me just say, he is my hero. Breathing through each contraction with me and being so encouraging and believing in what my body could and would do, even when I was losing faith.

OK, at about 2:30 they got much, much stronger and I decided to call the midwives and see what I should do next. I called and they told me to take a shower and call as soon as the contractions were 5 min apart, lasting a minute and for an hour duration. So I went to the shower to try and relax and get labor to slow down, so I could sleep but had no luck. The contractions slowed when I was in the shower but were just as intense as soon as I got out. Then things started to change quickly. My contractions were consistently 3 min. apart and lasting a minute, and at about the 45 minute mark I started to shake and throw up. So we called back the midwife and told her what was going on and she told us to meet her at the birth center in 50 min. (6am).

I was still thinking that this was probably nothing big (Deny deny deny) and that they would send me home to labor longer, Charlie was convinced and started packing the bags (that were yet to be packed) and getting everything all ready and loaded. We arrived at the birth center and they did my exam and, as I thought, I was still at two centimeters. However, as they were examining me (btw: nothing makes a contraction worse than getting an internal DURING it….nothing tops that) the midwife said “I don’t think that is a head…” and went to go and wake up another midwife to come and feel and see what she thought was presenting. The other midwife (who lives in the basement of the birth center) came up and felt the baby, both were sure it wasn’t the right part of the head but they couldn’t tell what part of her face they were feeling. After about half an hour of internal exams I had gone from two cm to three.

Then I had a few contractions without internals and then the second midwife went in to check once more to see if she could tell if she was feeling a chin or a nose or brow and during this exam my water broke, soon after that there was an audible crack and kind of snapping feeling in me and I went from three cm to five in one contraction. At that point both of the midwives left and Charlie and I labored through a few more very painful contractions. When they came back in they delivered the news, “we need to transfer to the hospital”. These were the words I was horrified of hearing, she might as well have said “time for your c-section” and truthfully, that is what she was thinking (she told me later). The baby was presenting face first and that is not legal for them to deliver and is a 90% chance of cesarean, not to mention more painful (back labor) and very, very rare.

 We were kind of in shock at this point, there was nothing to do but go. But still, I felt defeated at that moment. So we got me dressed (a feat with contractions one minute apart) and into the car (easily the WORST place to be with contractions). Once we got the hospital we got checked in (another post in and of itself, because the people at front desk of labor and delivery are stupid and ignore hard labor because they are used to it and ask you dumb questions like “what is your religious preference” in the midst of some LOUD and painful contractions..ahem) and waited to find out what doctor was on call (another one of my big fears was the baby being delivered by someone I have never met). We found out it was Dr. Cook and our midwife was super relived, saying that he was one of the only doctors at the hospital who would let me labor at all and not just send me directly into a c-section.

We met Dr.Cook (old as dirt, wears a bow tie and drives a smart car…) and he told me I couldn’t have as much time to labor as women typically get and that I needed to progress quickly, because of her position- he told me that if she didn’t turn he would have to send me in for a c-section and that would be sooner rather than later. This was the theme of my interactions with him each time. Every visit went with the threat of ‘progress faster or we will have to send you in’. Also, this was the first face presentation he had seen in 10 years. After he tried to turn our baby (pull her chin down) basically every nurse and other doctor wanted to come in and feel her to see what a face first presentation felt like. I was totally pro anyone and everyone trying to turn her, thinking that was my only shot at a vaginal birth.

So, as time went on the contractions got more and more painful and closer and closer together, until they were on top of each other. Around one in the afternoon the nurse let us know that if I hadn’t progressed allot by the time the next check came that she though the doctor would probably section me fast. Side note: our nurse was awesome. She was on our side the whole time, telling me how I could totally do this and that the baby would def turn for us. She also was great at down playing any negatives to the doctor and waiting to call him until it was the last possible moment so that I could get the most time to labor possible.

Anyway, around one I was starting to hit a wall was convinced that my body would never relax enough to open up. I had power over relaxing my neck and arms and upper back but I could feel that during each contraction I was tightening my hips and my back and thighs really hard. This feeling started as soon as I got to the hospital, I am fairly sure it was all in my head but regardless I was getting too stressed from all the c-section talk and I was letting it affect my ability to progress and cope. I talked with my midwife to tell her that I was hitting a wall and she told me to let the doctor check me to see how much I had progressed since he had checked me last (she thought it would be quite a bit because of how close together and strong my contractions were) and then to think about an epidural because it might buy me some more time and if done right it could make my muscles relax without me having to try. So we went with that plan.

The doctor came back and gave me another internal (maybe, my 100th by then- no joke). He found that I hadn’t gotten any further (still 5cm). At this point the choice was epidural for time and hope that it would be done well and work or a c-section in the very, very near future. The anesthesiologist was called and she went through her whole talk and it felt like it took an hour (at this point we had decided on the epidural so I just wanted to get it done, I was mainly horrified by the procedure). Charlie told me it only took about 2 minutes, but it was an eternity. Then she did the epidural and it was perfect. She was very fast and was able to give me a lower dose than typical. I was numbed to the pain in my back but could still feel every contraction and could walk and use my legs. It was just exactly what I needed, and 45min later I was at 7cm, about an hour after that I was at an 8. The nurse checked me to find out how dilated I was and then waited another half an hour or longer to let the doctor know, she was incredible.

Now, after the epidural I got a pretty high fever (102) and started to shake (more than I had been before)- this is usually a sign of an infection but the nurse down played it because we were pretty convinced it was just a side effect of the epidural. After being at 8 for a little while I started to feel allot of pressure in my butt (over share?) and I knew this was the beginnings of wanting to push- believe me when you want to push you will know. I waited a few contractions of this and then told the nurse. She examined me and said I was at a 10 and the baby was right there. At this point she let Charlie feel the baby, so cool. She told me “don’t push, we have to wait for the Dr. to say that he will deliver the baby even though she hasn’t turned. But, if you ignore what I am saying and let your body push, the baby will come out.” Then she left.

At this I looked over at Charlie and said “so, we push then right?” So for the next hour or more I didn’t actively push but I let my body push and didn’t hold back. Then the nurse came back and taught me how to push (a practice push). Then she told the Doctor that “the baby is coming!” and got everything set up and me all rigged (stirrups and all). Once the doctor came in he had me push once and I guess I did well because all of a sudden everything changed in the room and he said “whoa whoa stop stop or the baby will come out!” so I waited and then with his coaching and some serious finessing of Nolies face (popping out her chin after her lips and so on…) came out! It took just 20min of pushing and our little one was here. All 6lbs 11oz of her. And we were instantly in love with out little pirate looking baby.

Elaina's Story: A c-section with a happy ending

Elaina's Story
April 20, 2012
Submitted by Laura

"The best laid plans of mice and men, often go awry."

I had been planning a natural birth using the hypnobabies home study course. I listened to the tracks daily and was really excited to have the birth I didn't get with my now 8 year old son.

I was due May 6, 2012. At about 34 weeks, baby was head down already but by my next appointment, she was back to footling breech. We had an ultrasound to confirm though I knew that the giant ball pressed into my ribs was her head. I was very worried about her not turning so I started doing the exercises that are supposed to help baby get in the right position.

On Thursday, April 19, I had an appointment with an OB about doing an ecv [external cephalic version] to manually turn her. The thought of having this done frightened me but not as much as a c-section did. We made an appointment to have this done on the following Monday. I got ahold of my old acupuncturist to see if she could get me in to try moxibustion and I was excited she had an opening that day. Afterwards I felt great and made dinner that night, something I had been too exhausted to do in the previous weeks. I watched a few shows with my boyfriend while sitting on the exercise ball and then bought the "Turn Baby Turn" track from hypnobabies and listened to that. I went to bed visualizing my baby changing positions.

At 4:30 that morning I awoke to a stabbing pain in my cervix and what I thought was pee flowing down my leg. I stood up and it gushed out. I kept telling my now awake boyfriend that it was pee and that I was going to take a shower. He convinced me we had no time and needed to rush to the hospital. It was 16 days before my due date so I wasn't really prepared. I changed while Scott called St. Joseph's Hospital. They had never heard of my doctor. Come to find out he called some hospital in New Hampshire!

Once we got to the proper hospital, it started to sink in that I would have to have a c-section. I used my relaxation techniques while three nurses tried to get IVs in me all while I had intense contractions. I was alread at 4 cm so they rushed me back after a talented nurse got me a pain free IV in my arm. I was panicked but my doctor, who got to assist in the surgery, calmed me. I was in shock when they showed me my giant baby girl at 7:04am and I cried the same as I had when I first saw my son. I learned later that her foot was actually coming out and they had to dislodge it before delivering her!

Besides not getting my natural birth, my biggest disappointment was not getting to hold my precious girl for at least 45 minutes, but she did nurse well when I did get her.

I am thankful for c-sections and will never say never again!!! Elaina Gray was 8.5 pounds,19 3/4 inches, and ready to come out on her terms. We have no idea why she was breech! But she is a healthy little girl now almost three months later and I'm finally feeling normal!

Ellyana's Story: A homebirth creates a family

Ellyana Rose's Story
June 5, 2012
Submitted by Tessa

Friday evening, the day after my due date, I started having stronger braxton hicks contractions. I could tell that labour was getting close. I spent all day Saturday and Sunday relaxing and singing, gearing up. Sunday at midnight real contractions started and boy were they intense! I was no longer able to sleep so I let Bryan keep sleeping for a while and spent some time in the living room singing along to one of my many birth playlists. Around 2:30am I asked Bryan to fill the birth tub and to call my mom. Labouring in the tub felt wonderful. Bryan leaned over the edge to rub my back as we sang through the contractions "Elly Rose, I'm home again Rose, to get the sun back in the sky." My mom arrived and helped encourage me to walk around to help move the baby down. Bryan called the midwife and let her know my contractions were around 5 minutes apart. She said to let her know when they reached 3 minutes apart. My contractions started coming in sets, about two minutes apart with a 6 minute break in-between, and lasting around a minute. That continued throughout the night, with my mom rubbing my back and Bryan holding me and helping me breathe deeply. My body so badly wanted to take quick shallow breaths so I really relied on Bryans calm slow breathing to get me through it.

The midwife stopped by in the morning to check me. I was 1.5 cm dilated. Not the news we were hoping for but we kept on trucking! The midwife left to work her day at the birth center while we continued just coping one contraction at a time. I kept walking around the house, bouncing on the birth ball, singing and trying to stay empowered. The contractions were far more intense than I ever imagined and it was all I could do to stay positive. Bryan read aloud all the affirmation cards I had written, "Ride the wave" "All you have to do is breathe and relax. Nothing else" "Just as your body knew how to grow your baby, it knows how to birth your baby." I also turned to my mommy groups on facebook and asked for some words of support, reading so many kind words helped immensely.

At 11pm the midwife returned, she checked me and asked me if I wanted to know how far along I was. I said no, just tell me if I have progressed. Yes, she said I had progressed but was moving along very slowly. I later found out I was only 3cm at that time, some of which she stretched out herself. We made the decision to break my bag of waters at this point, in hopes it would bring the baby down further. My contractions were getting more and more intense and I was getting tired. I had been unable to eat anything almost my whole labour and was vomiting anything I did try to eat (even the delicious watermelon Bryan has cut up for me!) Baby was not dropping down enough to really press on my cervix so I could open up. We started trying things to move the baby into the best position. I got on my hands and knees and Bryan and my mom took turns wrapping a scarf under my belly and shaking it back and forth as vigorously as they could. It was a very tiring act and quite painful for me, but we all powered on, determined to get the baby to move. Luckily the babies heartbeat and my blood pressure were both doing great during the whole labour process.

Bryan and my mom were now taking turns napping while the other pressed on my back and held me during the contractions. We spent a bit more time in the birth tub but didn't want to slow things down at all so I didn't stay there for long. One thing that really sticks out in my mind is locking eyes with Bryan during the peak of the contraction. I could lose myself staring so deeply into his eyes and was able to take deep slow breaths.

At 3:30am the midwife checked me again and once again had to stretch me herself. I was now at 6cm dilated and suddenly I got the urge to push. I should say, suddenly my body started pushing because I was not in control over it. With all my might I blew raspberries and growled and moaned to try to stop myself from pushing. I was so afraid my body would push too much and my cervix would swell, leaving a c-section as my only birth option. When the midwife suggested we go to the hospital my heart sunk. Pitocin to make contractions stronger to get this baby down and an epidural to help me with the pain. I was still fearing a swollen cervix so I agreed to transfer. Bryan on the other hand wanted to give it more time, and started making very strong objections to going to the hospital.

My mom was hurriedly filling a bag with baby clothes and diapers and draping me in a robe. The midwife took one last check of my cervix before we left for the hospital. "It's a miracle!" she exclaimed! "You're fully dilated! You can push!" The relief we all felt was the most overwhelming emotion of the whole labour. "Thank you god!" I was exclaiming, even though I am not a religious person. From that moment on I felt no more pain. All I felt was relief!

Bryan hugged me and helped me onto the birthing stool that the midwife had brought. It felt SO wonderful to finally push with my body and know that we were so close to meeting our baby. I pushed with all my might, grunting and getting out every single emotion I had been feeling. Bryan supported my back while my mom took control of the video camera. I was crowning! "ohhh ring of fire!" I remember saying and the head started to emerge. Bryan ran and got the hand mirror so I could see. So much hair! I pushed again and the midwife asked me to slow down as she put oil on my perineum. I so badly didn't want to tear but at that point I no longer cared, I just wanted to PUSH! I pushed again as hard as I could and felt the head come out - and the body! The baby was here! I lifted the baby under the arms and up onto my belly. Bryan, still supporting behind me, leaned around and announced "IT'S A GIRL!" ("I know" I secretly thought. I had known she was a girl for months, our sweet Ellyana)

We held her on my belly until the placenta was birthed because she had a very short cord. When all the blood had finished pulsing my mom had the honour of cutting her loose.

My huge baby belly was now a 6lb 2 1/2oz baby girl, 19 inches long. Born at 4:20am on June 5th beside our bed into a room FULL of love.

We did it. A home birth, drug free, peaceful and loving.

I am so thankful for the incredible support team I had, and truly could not have done it without either of them. My moms wise words and touch helped my body and Bryans warmth, deep looks and soft lips helped my spirit. I feel so proud of the work all of us did and am so thankful I got through it all and am now holding our precious baby.

After getting cleaned up we discovered that I did NOT tear which was the icing on the cake! I lost a lot of blood so I felt very weak but at the same time I felt the best I had in months.

In the week the followed Bryan proved himself to be a truly great man. I stayed in bed and just nursed our sweet baby, he took care of the laundry, the dogs, every single meal and keeping the house clean. I was able to give my body the rest it needed. By 10 days post partum I felt healthy, healed and happy, and by three weeks my body felt 100%!

The love I feel for Elly is incomparable with anything else, besides my love for Bryan, which has gotten even stronger.

I so deeply love our beautiful little family.

Ellie's Story: A home birth surrounded by love

Eleanor Rose's Story
August 12, 2011
Submitted by Colleen

Starting at around 38 weeks, I began to feel a very strong nesting urge. For the next two weeks, I was cleaning every day and working hard to stay on top of the kitchen, the laundry, etc. Every day, I felt the need to be extra prepared in case labor started. Beginning at around 39 weeks, I noticed that my body was showing more and more signs of change. It was becoming increasingly difficult to get comfortable, sleeping was more challenging, and my Braxton Hicks contractions were getting more intense and frequent every day. Some nights they would fall into a regular pattern for an hour or more, but then back off. They remained focused in my belly, however, and they were never painful.

On Thursday, August 11th (nearly 40 weeks), I experienced a low back ache for most of the day. I also began to feel a real strong urge to finish last minute errands. I did a full round of food shopping, and at night I drove back into town to buy a gift for Amelia. I just knew it had to be done that night. I went to bed as usual, but at 2am, I realized that I was waking up to contractions that were now causing back pain. I was able to go back to sleep, but each contraction would wake me up, and it was very uncomfortable being in bed during them.

At 4am I finally got up because I could not get comfortable. I made myself some peanut butter toast and orange juice, and began walking around the living room. I turned on low lights and George Winston on Pandora, and it was an incredibly peaceful time. I knew there was a real possibility that the baby would be coming soon. It felt best to sway my hips side to side during each contraction as I leaned over the counter or the back of the couch. During this time, my contractions were approximately 5-6 minutes apart and 30-60 seconds long. I sat down in the rocking chair at 5:30am, and relaxed to the music. My contractions spaced out to 10-30 minutes during this time. At 7am I returned to bed and was able to sleep until 8:45am. I experienced only around 3 contractions during that time.

Upon getting up, I found that the contractions mostly ended, but that movement encouraged them. Dan stayed home with me because I was unsure whether labor would pick up again. I thought that maybe it would be a starting/stopping prodromal labor, but I also knew that it could kick in at any time. We let our midwives and doula know what was happening, and promised to keep them updated. At 11am, I experienced my first bloody show during the pregnancy, so I knew things were happening.

In the early afternoon, Dan and I took Amelia for a 1.5 mile walk around our block. I didn't experience any true contractions during this time, but it was nice to get out in the beautiful, sunny weather. We all sat down to watch a movie together around 3pm. I tried a little nipple stimulation to see if it would trigger contractions, and it easily started very hard contractions that I had to really focus on relaxing and breathing my way through. While sitting in the rocking chair, my contractions were 5-10 minutes apart and alternating from 45-80 seconds long. I got up to walk around at 5pm, and the contractions quickly changed to 2.5-3.5 minutes apart and 30-60 seconds long. The low back pain was very intense, so we made the decision to have our doula come over. Our midwife Eloisa asked us to keep her posted, and she would remain ready to come out. My fear was that I was calling people too early and my labor might easily slow or stop again. I realized, however, that it was in my best interest to have them around me sooner rather than later, and they would forgive me if they had to go home and come back another time. We also arranged for Grandma Ann and Aunt Hana to come over to help with Amelia.

When Jen (our doula) arrived, we quickly settled into a routine together. While not terribly long, my contractions were quite intense, and she provided constant low back counter-pressure during the contractions to ease my pain. I continued the low moaning during each contraction that I had been using all afternoon to ease through the difficult contractions. Eloisa, the midwife, arrived at 8:20pm. By this time, Grandma Ann & Hana were transitioning Amelia into a bath and getting ready for bed. My contractions were still hard, but they had spaced out quite a bit. It was so interesting to see the psychological component of labor at this point. Up until this time, the house had been well-lit, more active, and my daughter was a very vocal presence. I was also trying to direct things like getting her dinner and a bath. As soon Grandma and Aunt Hana took her into her room to go to bed, we dimmed the lights, lit some candles, and got the soft music playing. It was like a switch instantly activated and my labor became even stronger and more intense. I realized that my body had been holding back until my daughter was in bed and being taken care of by others. There was no question about it being hard, active labor at this point. Letting others take over helped me to fully enter into my labor, an there was no slowing down from there on out.

Around 9:30pm, we decided to administer the antibiotic dose I needed due to being GBS+. Up to this point, I was still laughing, talking, and interacting well with everyone between my contractions. This lulled me into a false sense of being less advanced in my labor. During the antibiotic administration, I quickly started experiencing shakiness and nausea during the contractions, sure signs of transition. I remained relatively lucid, however, in between the contractions. The one thing I wanted more than anything was to get into the labor tub as soon as possible.

When the antibiotic was finally finished (about 15 minutes) I moved upstairs as quickly as I could. I had one contraction leaning over the edge of the tub as soon as I reached the bedroom, but I then quickly took off my clothes and climbed in. The tub was so amazingly soothing, and I knew that I wouldn't ever want to get out. After one contraction reclined back, I quickly turned over onto my knees, leaning over the edge of the tub. Jen soon brought a towel to cushion the edge of the tub, and I stayed in this position for most of the remainder of my labor. The water didn't take away the labor pain, but it felt so good to be immersed. I had been standing all day since I hated sitting or lying down, so the water helped me to relax more fully. My contractions were incredibly hard and just burned in my lower back. I felt like I wanted to jump out of my skin to escape the pain and make it all stop. Many of the contractions were incredibly long, the kind that feel like they are going to ease, but then they just go on and on. Those were mentally exhausting for me. If I had been in the hospital, I would have been sorely tempted by the available medication. As it was, I knew I was too far away from the hospital and too close to the birth to even contemplate this option. Luckily, my birth team was so amazingly supportive. My husband, my doula, my midwife...they were my lifeline. While I moaned as low and loud and long as I could and repeated over and over in my head, "I can do this...I can make it through this contraction...it will ease soon...", they were there every step of the way encouraging me, telling me what a great job I was doing, applying counter-pressure, wrapping my forehead in cold washcloths, etc. This went on for less than an hour, and soon it was time to push.

What was so amazing is that I could really feel our little girl moving down with each contraction. I was fully aware four or five contractions ahead of time that I would be pushing soon, because I could feel the building pressure down low and the changes occurring in my body. Shortly before 11pm, I began to experience small, grunty pushes at the peaks of my contractions. I was encouraged to simply listen to my body and do what felt natural. Nobody did a vaginal exam, nobody directed my pushing, I was simply allowed to turn inward and listen to my own body. It was such a wonderful and empowering experience after my first birth with directed pushing. I was soon pushing during the whole contraction, and again, was aware of my daughter's descent through the birth canal as she came closer to birth. At this point, the pressure was intense, and it didn't really ease between contractions. I kept praying for relief, but none was forthcoming. As my daughter's head began emerging, the stretching, burning sensation was incredible, but I worked really hard to listen to my body and let it gently stretch after each hard push. It was so hard to do, because I really just wanted to get her out as soon as possible. After each hard push, however, I waited and let the burning ease a little before pushing again. Since I didn't tear this time, I know that waiting between pushes was definitely the right decision.

Close to the birth, both my husband and the midwife had their hands at the perineum to feel the baby's progress. Before the birth I had been sure that I wanted to feel our baby coming out, but during the pushing I found that I was afraid to feel because I was scared that I wouldn't feel enough of her head to assure me that progress was happening quickly. I was so ready to be finished. At 11:12pm, I finally pushed our baby out into her father's and the midwife's waiting hands, and she was brought up onto my chest as I reclined back for the first time in hours. I was able to discover her gender myself, and it was simply a glorious feeling to be done!

While we had a good, natural birth experience in the hospital with my older daughter, I can't rave enough about our home birth experience. To be so wrapped up in a cocoon of warmth, love, laughter, encouragement, trust, and understanding was awe-inspiring. I feel so truly blessed to have experienced birth as it should be.

Mona's Story: A hospital transfer gone right

Mona's Story
July 18, 2007
Submitted by Jillian


My water broke the first night. It was unmistakeable; I had been sitting on the couch and when I stood up, the collected fluid spilled out of me, soaking through my underwear and dripping down my leg. This was not pee. It was a week and a half before my due date, my baby hadn't even dropped into my pelvis, and we were not prepared. As a first-time mom and the daughter of a woman who had always had long pregnancies, I had expected to go another 3 weeks or so. We had the basics, though, and it was clear that the basics would have to be enough.

That night and the following day, I tried to prepare myself. Despite all the tricks, pre-labor refused to advance to active labor. I ate and drank, walked and rested, and waited. That evening we met the midwife at her office. We were closing in on 24 hours with ruptured membranes, and one way or another, labor would have to start soon.

The three of us (the midwife, my husband, and I) decided to try a catheter trick. Foley catheters are usually used to empty bladders, but my midwife would insert one with the tip just inside my cervix, and inflate it with a little bubble of saline to put pressure on my cervix and stimulate labor. It was an easy procedure, and we went home afterwards to wait -- and returned to the birth center within 2 hours, in active labor. What we didn't know at the time was that my daughter was in the occiput posterior (OP) position, with her back along my back, instead of the easier anterior position with the baby facing backwards. My cervix was straining against the top of her head instead of the pointier crown, and despite a night and a day of good active labor, I could not dilate the way I needed to.

My husband would later describe this as the worst day of his life. I couldn't eat or drink (although I would sip juice and later throw it up). I was having double and triple contractions without breaks in between, hard back labor. I would spend hours standing and leaning against a wall, with someone behind me to rub my back during contractions, and it felt like minutes. My midwife did painful cervical massage a few times to encourage dilation, but eventually that was only causing swelling and irritation. I was getting IV antibiotics every few hours, but still, as we neared 48 hours with ruptured membranes, I knew that the baby was going to have to come out. What we were doing was not going to meet that deadline. If I was going to transfer to the hospital, I would need to do it while I still had time to have a vaginal birth.

My body had given me a break of a few minutes without contractions to have this discussion with my husband and midwife. In fact, it was the first and only break I got. Once the decision was made to transfer, labor started again, and I contracted while dressing, in the car, in the waiting room at the hospital, while changing into a gown, trying to talk to the nurse, getting into the bed. I was sure the whole hospital heard my labor roars. (I credit my classical voice training for giving me the skills to roar like that for 24 hours straight without losing my voice!) I gratefully accepted a shot of Fentanyl while I settled and, a bit later, an epidural and a small Pitocin drip. I knew that these interventions could raise the risk of a surgical birth, but I also knew that I had very little time to start making progress before the hospital would insist I have surgery, and I needed to do whatever I could to make that progress.

I was lucky to get a nurse who was an advocate of midwives and vaginal birth. She pushed and pressured and bent the rules for me to have a chance to labor, and it worked. I started dilating immediately, and within 2 hours of my transfer, I was ready to push. Forty-eight hours after my water had broken, Mona emerged, utterly perfect. Her heart rate had been rock-solid through the whole labor, and her lips were cranberry pink when I first saw her.

I had wanted to avoid giving birth in the hospital, but I was lucky to have such a good hospital to give birth in. The hospitalist that delivered Mona allowed me to lie partly on my left side while I labored, and he even let my midwife (who had stayed with us in an unofficial capacity) show him how to delay clamping the umbilical cord until it had stopped pulsing. The nurses encouraged me to bedshare and breastfeed, and Mona was barely out of our arms for the 24 hours that we stayed. I had an easy physical recovery, too, with no tearing or rawness. I do sometimes wonder if the chronic headaches I've suffered since my daughter was born might be related to the epidural, but that's unlikely, and in any case the epidural couldn't be avoided. All in all, I'm happy with my birth story. It's a good memory, and there's nothing I regret about it.

Daniel's Story: An (unplanned), unassisted home birth

Daniel's Story

May 10, 2010

Submitted by Rachael

In the three and a half years between having my first baby and getting pregnant with my second, I became a bit of a birth junkie.  I HAD felt empowered by my birth, amazed that I'd done that.  In reading more information and other people's birth stories, though, I came to realize that there were other choices.  I read a lot of birth blogs, and then I watched "The Business of Being Born."  I was hooked.  I was incensed.  I hated that I'd been so afraid of labor and birth when it should have been something to look forward to.  I hate that we don't educate young women as to ALL of the choices available to them when it comes to birth.  I hate how our country seems to view all of this as a medical condition, and I hate that people think they need a doctor when in many cases a midwife is more than enough support.

As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I wanted to do things very differently.  I asked a long time family friend who is a hypnobirthing instructor and doula for a recommendation, and I hired a midwife.  We took hypnobirthing classes.  I watched tons of videos on YouTube and read hundreds of birth stories - all positive, all empowering and amazing.  I couldn't wait for my birth, to really feel the power of doing it myself this time.  I trusted my body.  

At 30 weeks I realized I was not comfortable with my midwife.  I am generally very confrontation-phobic, and I have often sat back and just accepted something because it was easier and I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  This time, I didn't.  I realized that I absolutely did not want someone attending my birth who I was not comfortable with.  It would have been setting myself up for discomfort and problems during labor.  Luckily, I found another midwife I'd heard good things about who had room to take me, and as soon as I met her I was 100% happy with my decision.  I connected with her in a way I hadn't with the first woman.  We planned to have the baby at our local birth center, about 20 minutes from our home.  I thought about a home birth, but we were living in a house owned by my father in law and I knew the only place we'd be able to set up a pool would have been in the kitchen, and I really wanted to be able to be in the water, and didn't want to have my baby in the kitchen.  We were also 25 minutes from the hospital, and I felt more comfortable being closer just in case. 

My due date was on Mother's Day, May 9, just 7 days after my older son turned 4 years old.  It came and went.  I was unhappy and uncomfortable.  I had been having some practice contractions in the evenings, usually for about an hour and 8 or so minutes apart, then they'd stop until the next night.

On May 10, I woke up got Sam ready for preschool.  I went out to Thai food for lunch (my husband plotting to feed me spicy foods) and then shopped for my husband's birthday presents since his birthday was the next day.  Pretty early in the day I started having a few contractions - about one or two every hour.  They were very spaced out and not very intense, but it was something different to be having them throughout the day instead of just in the evening.  I was hoping that this was a good sign.  I met Sam at the bus after school around 4:00 and we played outside until my husband got home around 7:00 after dealing with filing a police report because his car had been broken into at work.  Since he'd had a bad day, I decided he should open his birthday presents early, so he did that and he and Sam had some cake.  

Just before 8 pm, I started having some regular contractions.  They felt a little more intense than my usual nightly contractions, and I started hoping that it was for real this time, but I was cautiously optimistic because I didn't want to get my hopes up only to have it not be the real thing.  At 8:20, I started timing with the contraction timer on my phone.  For the next hour, my contractions were 40-60 seconds long and between 7 and 12 minutes apart.  I felt skeptical that this was really it because they were so far apart, and at the least thought that it would be quite a while before we'd be heading to the birth center.  I was wondering if my water would break like it did with Sam, and I texted my Mom and sister that this "might be it."  

There was a lot of doubt in my mind about how I would know when it was "real" and how long to wait before calling people or heading to the birth center.  I knew that the "rule" was 5-1-1 - contractions 5 minutes apart, a minute long, for at least an hour, so that's the guideline I had in mind in regards to calling my midwife.  I later realized I was supposed to call her when they were 10 minutes apart to at least check in according to her written instructions since it was my 2nd baby, but it would not have impacted the situation in any way.  At this point, my husband was getting nervous.  He kept asking me how far apart the contractions were and if they were getting more painful, but I didn't seem worried so he didn't push it.

Around 9:40, a little under 2 hours into it, the contractions got closer.  For about 30 minutes, they stayed around 5-7 minutes apart and a minute long.  I was starting to wonder if I was a little crazy for opting for a natural birth because they were getting pretty painful.  I also realized at that point that I literally had no memory of having ANY pain during my first labor despite the fact that my family told me that I was in pain, and I said I was at the time.  My husband asked me if I was able to talk through the contractions since we knew that was another good indicator in terms of heading to the birthing location.  At that point, I was lying on the couch on my side and was still able to talk through them. I tried listening to my hypnobirthing CD, but quickly realized that it was not going to work.  I couldn't relax.  I got up from the couch and turned if off, emphatically telling my husband "This is NOT going to work!" I think if my labor had been longer and I'd had more mild contractions for longer, it would have been great.  If they'd been spaced out further it would have been nice to relax in between.

My husband was packing a bag for Sam so we could drop him off at a friend's on the way to the birth center and getting a few things for himself together.  I walked around the house, stopping to sway and moan during contractions.  I was still very calm, and my husband was moving at a medium pace.  The contractions were not really regular, and weren't getting closer together and he was thinking about how long my first labor had taken.

Suddenly, around 10:15, the contractions got very hard.  They were coming every 2.5 - 3.5 minutes and I was no longer able to talk or walk through them.  I was vocalizing through each one, moaning and trying to keep my voice low and remember to breathe deeply instead of panting or yelling.  I picked up my phone and found myself on my knees in our family room with my elbows on the couch.  I called my midwife and told her that it was time and we would be there in 20 minutes.  She said she would meet us there.  I was sweating and felt my body working hard at that point.  When we looked back later at the contraction timer, my contractions had gone from being 10-12 minutes apart to 3-5 minutes apart in less than 10 minutes.  

My husband was running around the house a bit crazily now, trying to get everything in the car.  At 10:25, he called my Mom and told her to meet us at the birth center, and was about to carry a sleeping Sam out to his carseat.  That's when my water broke.  It was a completely different experience having my water break while in hard labor, I was caught off guard by the loud pop and flood of fluid.  My husband heard it from across the house and called out to ask if my water had just broken.  I could barely answer him.  As soon as my water broke, my contractions were one on top of the other.  That's when the pressure started.

I barely remember walking to the bathroom, one room away from where I was.  I sat down on the toilet, and I could hear my husband rushing around to get ready.  At this point, I knew that we were not going anywhere.  I could feel my body bearing down with each contraction, I was pushing and there was no stopping it.  I knew there was no way I was getting in a car.  At this point I was yelling during the contractions, and my husband came into the bathroom.  He told me I just had to stand up and walk to the car, and I said "I can't."  He thought I meant I thought I couldn't because the contractions were painful, and was getting frustrated because he didn't understand.

I remember saying that it hurt.  After only 7 contractions that were right on top of one another - probably about 10-15 minutes on the toilet - I reached down and felt my baby's head.  I said, "he's coming, he's coming right now" and my husband asked what he should do.  I told him to put down towels and I got on the floor on all fours with my arms on the side of the bathtub.  My husband asked again what to do, and I said "catch him."  And he did.

After four pushes, the head was out, and after two more, our second baby was born in our home into his father's hands.  Sam slept on the couch through almost the whole thing, only waking briefly when I screamed during the final pushes.  I sat down and turned around, and my husband handed me our baby.  I wrapped a towel partway around him, but honestly was a bit in shock.  My husband swept his mouth out and made sure he was breathing.  He looked up at me and he didn't cry, he just made a few noises, enough that I knew he was fine.  

Daniel John was born at 10:55 pm on May 10, 2010.  He was 8 lb 3 oz and 20 inches long.  I held him in my arms and my husband rushed outside to call our midwife and the people who were headed to the birth center to tell them to come to the house.  He stayed fairly calm until he started making the calls, then started to get shaky and called my Mom twice.  Our midwife arrived at our home about 15 minutes after Danny was born.  She looked at the placenta, which I had already birthed, and clamped his cord so that my husband could cut it.  Holding him for about 30 minutes after he was born, skin-to-skin, without any interruption was amazing.  Once we cut the cord, our midwife helped me up to my bed and my Mom and her husband arrived.  Soon after, my stepdad and my sister also got to our house.  

Our midwife weighed and measured Danny and we wrapped him up in a couple of sleep sacks and a blanket because he had gotten a little cold from when I was holding him without a blanket on him.  She stuck around for an hour or two and made sure we were all okay.  A couple of hours later I got up to go to the bathroom and sit so my husband could clean up the bed and get it ready for us to sleep in. Unfortunately there was a bit of a mess to clean up (one of the reasons I HADN'T planned on a home birth!), so it took a few minutes. We did have chux pads on the bed, but they were insufficient.  I was feeling VERY dizzy and weak, and my Mom started to get concerned. After I sat for a few more minutes and had a couple of bowls of cereal we decided that it was just a combination of getting up from bed too soon, the adrenaline rush wearing off, and not having eaten since lunchtime. With all the commotion, my midwife forgot to remind me to eat something before trying to get up, and it didn't occur to me apparently.

I moved to the floor in the bathroom, and then when the bed was done I got up to walk across the hall back to bed. My husband helped me up, but when he turned around to get something from the bathroom I was in the hall and passed out. It was really weird, I have never passed out or fainted before and I just felt my body become SO heavy and fall to the floor, then I woke up and it just felt like it was morning and I'd woken up. I crawled over the bed and climbed up, and I felt okay. Luckily, I didn't hit anything on the way down!

Danny slept like a champ, which was nice since I didn't fall asleep until after 3:30 am and he slept for a good 5 hour chunk.  We had so many other people around, he just got passed from person to person who loved him.  Despite the mess, I love that I had my baby at home and just like my first birth, he was surrounded by people who love him immediately as he came into his life in the outside world.  It was kind of great not to have to go to the hospital or anywhere and just be at home.  

My recovery was more difficult with Danny than it was with Sam, I think because he came so quickly that my body didn't have time to adjust.  I didn't have any tears or stitches, but I was just really, really sore and spent most of the first week on the couch.  My stomach muscles hurt a lot until my midwife suggested binding my stomach, which I did with an elastic type back brace I happened to have in my house.  After wearing it for 24 hours there was a huge difference, and she told me that in a lot of countries they do that for all women after birth.    

In the end I had two very different birthing experiences.  Both were wonderful in their own ways, but it never stops being fun to tell people about my unplanned, unassisted home birth!  Now I encourage all women I can to educate themselves and decide what they really want - you can have the birth you want, even if sometimes it happens differently than you'd expected.  

Samuel's Story: A peaceful hospital birth

Samuel's Story
May 2, 2006
Submitted by Rachael

I was 25 when I had my first son. We had trouble getting pregnant, but after 2 years, our 4th attempt at IUI worked, and we were finally pregnant. We took the standard class that the hospital offered, a few sessions that didn't tell me much that I didn't already know. I was so excited at becoming a mother, but I was really scared of labor. All I heard were stories about how much it hurt and how afterwards it was "like hamburger down there." Not exactly inspiring or encouraging. My birth plan was basically to try and do it without medication, but I fully acknowledged that I had no idea what my pain threshold is since I've never really had any painful experiences. The most physical pain I'd ever felt before that was probably getting my tattoos.

My due date was May 2, and the day before I was feeling really nervous. I was ready to meet my son, but one thing I did know was that I did not want to be induced. I really wanted labor to come on naturally. I was feeling unsettled about my doctor appointment the next day because I knew the subject would come up. That night, my husband gave me the choice of going for a walk outside around our apartment complex or of sex to try and get things going. I chose the latter because the idea of a walk was just too much! We're both night owls and ended up going to sleep around 1 am.

At 3:30 am I woke up and as soon as I was awake, I realized that I'd been awakened by my water breaking. I sat up in bed and made my husband go and get me a towel. I went into the bathroom and the fluid was clear, and after that I was leaking fluid slowly, and gushing a bit during contractions. At first, I didn't even realize that what I was feeling were contractions. It took three or four crampy feelings exactly 20 minutes apart for me to realize what was happening. I did not have any contractions or Braxton Hicks at all before I actually went into labor.

I was so excited, and even though I was tired, I liked the dark and quiet of the morning. I called the hospital and they told me that I should come in since my water had broken but that I could shower and have something to eat first, no rush. I was too excited to shower, but we took our time getting ready. The drive to the hospital was nice, no cars on the street and everything was very quiet and still in the early morning. We walked into labor and delivery around 5 am. I had filled out the paperwork ahead of time, so we got right into a room. At that point, my contractions were about 6 minutes apart.

The nurses told me that depending on my progress they would probably want to start pitocin around 9:30 (6 hours into my labor). I put on a gown and robe and walked the halls, leaning on the railings when I had contractions. My Mom and sister arrived around 6. As the contractions got stronger and harder, I started to re-think my ideas about having a natural labor. Around 7:30, my doctor came in and did my first check and found that I was 6 cm dilated. It was really convenient that my doctor's practice was located in the hospital, so it was very easy for him to come down and check on me. After that, my contractions continued getting longer and more difficult, but spaced out more. I know now that is something that happens to some people, and doesn't necessarily mean progress is slowing, but I did not know that at the time.

Around 10 am, my doctor told me that we could either keep waiting or we could use pitocin and move things along. This is where my journey completely diverges from my current opinions. I know now that the pitocin was not necessary, but I wasn't informed or empowered to make that choice at the time. I did know that pitocin can make contractions come on fast and hard, so I told them I wanted an epidural before they started the pitocin drip. I got my epidural and they started the drip sometime between 10:30 and 11:30. Around noon, my friend/photographer arrived as well as my stepdad. At 12:20 they checked me again and I was still only 6-7 cm dilated. At that point, the nurses suggested that we kick everyone out and try to rest. The hospital I was at was very quiet and calm, and I had the overhead lights off with natural light streaming through floor to ceiling windows. I listened to Sarah McLachlan and went to sleep.

At 1:15 I was awakened by an oxygen mask being placed over my mouth and nose. In retrospect I have no idea why that was necessary. They told me that the baby's heart rate was sporadic, and upon doing an internal exam they said that the reason was because it was time to push - I was 10 cm and ready to go! We called my family back to the room and around 1:30 I started pushing.

Because of the epidural, I was on my back on the bed. There were no stirrups, so I was holding my legs as I pushed. The lights were still out, and I did very little talking. My husband made jokes about it being a 'silent birth' ala Scientology since Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes were all over the news at that time.  I was not in pain, but did feel an urge to push and a lot of pressure. My family was there to encourage me, but I didn't need them to talk to me, just be in the room with me to help bring our baby into the world.

After 1 hour and 40 minutes of pushing, Samuel Denn was born. He weighted 7 lbs 6 oz, was 20 inches long, and had the fullest head of white blonde hair I'd ever seen. They placed him immediately on my chest and let him stay while I birthed the placenta.

We stayed in the hospital overnight, and were unsuccessful with breastfeeding. I found out later that I had a litany of medical issues including insulin resistance, PCOS, high testosterone and hypothyroidism that affected my ability to get pregnant and to produce milk. I tried many things, but never got more than a few drops out of either breast. My doctor had never checked my breasts while I was pregnant, or told me that the size and placement or the fact that there was not an increase in size might not be good signs. I never had any idea that some women could not breastfeed, or had low production, or any of that.

We went home the next day, and I was shocked at how easy my recovery was. My muscles were sore and tired, but I felt fairly good. None of the vagina horror stories I'd heard held true in any way, and things went back to normal fairly quickly. Even though I have different ideas now about birth in general, I am happy that I had such a good hospital experience with my first birth!